Here’s a shirt that’s popular from Bangkok all the way to Lake Titicaca. Whether you’re masticating a cumquat or nailing a futtock, you know that it’s important to keep our planet clean. That’s why you don’t just jaculate your old joystick into a convenient manhole. You don’t waste water by manhandling your ballcock. You don’t ravish the horehounds like some kind of rabid cockchafer. And do you know why? Because you know that it’s asinine to ramrod our beautiful planet until it’s little more than a giant penal colony. That’s why we’re offering you an organic cotton tee emblazoned with this hoary old piece of wisdom: “Keep the Earth clean. It’s not Uranus.” Seriously, who would want to live there? The place is like a pu-pu platter.

Sizes:
Men’s S, M, L, XL